Father, creator of all things
He who is worthy of all praise
I come before you head bowed, heart open, asking for healing
I fear that I have given so much of myself to lost loves that I’m afraid that I’m incapable of giving so much of myself again
Cold and heartless is not the person I want to be but I fear that is what I’ve slowly become
God I need your healing I don’t want to hurt anymore
But I don’t know how to allow this open wound to heal.
Please help me to understand what you have planned for me
Having the faith of a mustard seed is nothing unless it is nurtured
In this dark place I’m in fighting to find the light so that my seed is allowed to flourish
I call to you to help me find this light right now so that I can finally be at peace
Father I need you now more than ever
I know that your teachings are about love and forgiveness
How can I forgive myself for the foolish mistakes I’ve made when I knew better
Or how to love myself when I was made to feel unworthy to be loved
Let it not be my will but yours that places one foot in front of another as I begin this journey Lord
No one ever said that this was going to be easy
I pray that you give me the strength to endure what comes my way so that I may never come back to this place
Father I thank you for all the blessing you have an will bestow upon me.
Amen

Hey baby let’s get away, let’s go somewhere far
Well, I don’t care
Hey baby let’s get away, let’s go somewhere far
Well, I don’t care

Day dreamin’ and I’m thinkin’ of you
Day dreamin’ and I’m thinkin’
of you
Day dreamin’ and I’m thinkin’ of you
Day dreamin’ and I’m thinkin’ of you

Trying not to get too far ahead
In my head
My heart wants me to tell
I’m just too scared
The challenge is to accept the possibility of a fail
How do you fail by accepting that you fell
In l-o-v
No too soon for that

LIKE feels more appropriate
Because I LIKE the way you touch me
You know the kind of touch that sets your body on fire with the slightest brush of your fingertips against any exposed skin
I LIKE the way you look kiss me
Your lips have a way of finding that spot on my neck that says this one, this spot right here is all mine
And I really LIKE the way you hold me
The embrace that makes me feel like nothing in the world can touch me because you’re there to protect me
Most of all I LIKE the simplicity of every moment between me and you
The peaceful silence that we share as we exchange words and thoughts from the simple act of breathing.
I LIKE the way you look at me
Because nobody else sees me like you see me
Through all my imperfections you see me perfectly
I just…
If you’re willing then I’m willing
Let see where this goes

Pledging vows of undying love
Saying things like you complete me
Giving myself to him unconditionally
Not realizing that one day he’d no longer be there and I’d have to look for some one else to fill a void inside of an incomplete me.

As I sit here trying not to feel what I’m feeling
My body won’t let me ignore the fire building inside
Starting as a spark in my core
Traveling through my veins
The longer I sit, the more I want to feel him inside
Take him in as deeply as I can
I can feel the moisture starting to form
As thoughts of him entering my most intimate folds excite me
The momentum of him sliding in and out of my wetness….
I want him now
Scratch that I need to feel him now
I want to hear him say my name as i do exactly what he wants, how he wants, where he wants
His pleasure is all mine
Looking at him through hooded eyes
I imagine tasting him
Feeling his reaction as l lick the tip
Hear him moan ever so softly as I get my first taste
Savoring the flavor
I place my mouth on the shaft
Pausing just for a moment, feeling his pulsating vein against my tongue
He is indescribably delicious
Sucking and massaging him to the edge of orgasm only to ease up and bring him back
I can feel myself coming close to my own climax.
So close but yet so far
Snapped back to reality as I feel his body brush against mine
The boom of the 808 sending vibrations through my body
Marching the throbbing heartbeat between my legs
I  WANT  HIM
Selfishly wanting to selflessly give him all of me
Wanting to experience all of him
Take him to places of womanly pleasures he’s never experienced
Because tonight it’s not about me but him
He pulls me close / scent intoxicating
The combination of warm earthiness combined with the freshness of a warm summer breeze lull me closer
INHALE his masculinity
While enjoying the possibility of accepting his manhood
Bodies moving in a fevered rhythm
I feel the ache of being just short of climax again
Anticipation of the need for completion
The sudden loneliness of separation clouds my mind
The song ends
Leaving us to retreat to neutral corners
I see him from a distance
On my way to being lost in my thoughts again

11/22/11

I am an Idea

Conceived in the mind of the Universe

And interpreted in the minds

Of the individuals I meet

Within myself I am constant

Yet, I am as ever changing

As the people who interpret me

I can control my actions

But cannot control their thoughts

Therefore, I must do what I think is right

And let others

Think what they will

                                                                              JAVAN

Its funny where the road in this journey called life takes us
The lives we touch on the paths we cross
The times we think we should have gone left instead of right
And how differently our lives would have been
From sunrise to sunset you ride that highway
When you look back on your day do you ever wonder how your journey affected the journey of another
And if so was it a positive or negative effect
What contributions you made to insure the trip of future generations
Its funny how even if you feel that you are constantly moving forward
And when you come to an intersection is it a road you’ve traveled before
Will you take a trip down memory lane
Avoid it all together
Or try it again with fresh eyes to see if the road is less bumpy than before